The Institute for Family Studies surveyed 1,518 US adults in 2021 and
found a clear asymmetry in fertility regret. 37% of all US adults
wish they had more children than they currently have, including both
parents who want additional children (24%) and childless adults who
want to start (13%). On the other side, only 14% of parents wish
they had fewer children. The desire for more consistently outweighs
the desire for fewer, roughly two-to-one.
This asymmetry aligns with Gilovich and Medvec’s prediction that
inaction regrets dominate over time. The gap between desired and actual
fertility has been a persistent structural feature of US demography for
decades, and IFS trend data shows it is widening: the share of Americans
who say the ideal family size is three or more children recently hit a
50-year high. People are not adjusting their preferences downward to
match their behavior — they continue to wish for more even as birth
rates fall.
The comparison is imperfect in several ways. “Wishing for more” is not
the same as regretting a specific past decision — it may reflect
wistfulness about circumstances (finances, partner, timing) rather than
decisional regret. The populations are also not cleanly symmetric: the
14% is measured among parents, while the 37% includes childless adults.
And the largest confound is involuntariness: many people who want more
children face fertility limitations, financial barriers, or partner
disagreement, making the “inaction” label somewhat misleading. They did
not choose fewer children — they ended up with fewer.
A complementary signal from the children themselves: a YouGov poll of
2,000 US adults (October 2023) found that 66% of adults who grew up
as only children wish they had had at least one sibling, against 34%
who were satisfied with the arrangement. The child’s sibling-wish rate
(66%) runs nearly double the parent’s wish-for-more rate (37%), a gap
that hints at a systematic blind spot: parents may underestimate how
much their child will want a sibling, while the child feels the absence
as an adult. These are different populations answering different
questions, not directly comparable rates, but the directional divergence
is worth registering.
Fuentes: acción
Registro de evidencia
Cada número a continuación es lo que reportó cada fuente, con la cita textual en la que nos basamos y cómo llegamos a nuestra cifra. Haz clic en cualquier enlace para verificarlo directamente.
1/2 fuentes verificadas de forma independiente palabra por palabra frente a la fuente citada
[1]Institute for Family Studies / Stone — To Have Kids or Not: Which Decision Do Americans Regret More?↗ 1 other entry
Fuente de referencia
14% of people with children agreed 'I wish I had had fewer children' (10% of all US adults)
Extracto
“"Just 14% of people with children agreed with the statement 'I wish I had had fewer children' (which equals 10% of all adults). The vast majority of people want to have children and more than a third wish they had more."
”
Datos de la fuente de
2021-12-08
Accedido
2026-04-25
Cálculo
Data from the second wave of the US Adult Sexual Behaviors and Attitudes Study, fielded March 2021 (n=1,518). The 14% is among parents specifically. We use 0.14 as the regret_rate for the action side (having had too many).
[2]Pew Research Center — The Experiences of U.S. Adults Who Don't Have Children
Verificado
↗ 2 other entries
Fuente de referencia
Among adults 50+ without children, 38% say there was a time they wanted children; broader context for fertility preference gaps
Extracto
“"Among adults ages 50 and older who don't have children, 38% say there was a time when they wanted to have children. About three-in-ten (32%) say they never wanted children."
”
Datos de la fuente de
2024-07-25
Accedido
2026-04-25
Verificación
Extracto recuperado de forma independiente y confirmado palabra por palabra frente a la fuente citada durante nuestra auditoría de fundamentación.
Cálculo
Pew data provides cross-validation for the IFS survey. The 38% who once wanted children among the childless represents a ceiling for wish-for-more regret. Used as contextual support, not as the primary figure.
Fuentes: inacción
Registro de evidencia
Cada número a continuación es lo que reportó cada fuente, con la cita textual en la que nos basamos y cómo llegamos a nuestra cifra. Haz clic en cualquier enlace para verificarlo directamente.
1/2 fuentes verificadas de forma independiente palabra por palabra frente a la fuente citada
[1]Institute for Family Studies / Stone — To Have Kids or Not: Which Decision Do Americans Regret More?
Verificado
↗ 1 other entry
Fuente de referencia
37% of US adults wish they had more children than they currently have (including 24% who are parents and want more, plus 13% who are childless and want children)
Extracto
“"34% have children and are happy with the number they have ... Another third—the largest group—wish they had more (37%), whether currently parents or not."
”
Datos de la fuente de
2021-12-08
Accedido
2026-04-25
Verificación
Extracto recuperado de forma independiente y confirmado palabra por palabra frente a la fuente citada durante nuestra auditoría de fundamentación.
Cálculo
The IFS source reports a single wish-for-more figure of 37%, combining parents who want more (24%) and childless adults who want children (13%, inferred as 37 minus 24). It is the largest fertility-preference group. We use 0.37 as the regret_rate for the inaction side.
[2]Institute for Family Studies — Americans' Desire for Large Families Hits 50-Year High↗ 1 other entry
Fuente de referencia
The share of Americans who say the ideal family size is 3+ children rose to the highest level in 50 years, indicating a persistent gap between desired and actual fertility
Extracto
“"The share of Americans who say the ideal family size is three or more children has risen to the highest level in 50 years, widening the gap between desired and actual fertility."
”
Datos de la fuente de
2023-06-28
Accedido
2026-04-25
Cálculo
Trend data showing that the desire-for-more gap is widening over time. Supports the 37% wish-for-more figure as durable rather than transient. The gap between desired and actual fertility is a structural feature of modern US demography.
Advertencias
Las poblaciones de "deseo de menos" y "deseo de más" se superponen imperfectamente: el 14% es entre padres actuales, mientras que el 37% incluye tanto a padres que quieren más como a adultos sin hijos que quieren hijos. Comparar un subconjunto solo de padres con una cifra de todos los adultos infla la asimetría aparente. La encuesta IFS usó escalas de acuerdo de un solo ítem, no un instrumento de arrepentimiento validado. "Desear haber tenido más" no es lo mismo que arrepentirse de una decisión específica — puede reflejar nostalgia más que arrepentimiento decisional. Restricciones financieras, limitaciones de fertilidad y desacuerdo de pareja significan que no tener más hijos a menudo es involuntario, lo que complica el encuadre acción/inacción. Un ángulo complementario desde la perspectiva del niño: YouGov (octubre 2023, n=2.000 adultos estadounidenses, muestra emparejada de ACS 2019) encontró que el 66% de los adultos que crecieron como hijos únicos desearía haber tenido al menos un hermano; solo el 34% estaba satisfecho con ser hijo único. Cerca del 12% de los adultos estadounidenses crecieron como hijos únicos. La tasa de deseo de hermanos desde la perspectiva del niño (66%) es sustancialmente mayor que la tasa de deseo de más desde la perspectiva del padre (37%), sugiriendo que el costo de detenerse en un hijo se siente más agudamente por el niño que lo anticipado por el padre que toma la decisión. Estos datos desde la perspectiva del niño no pueden compararse directamente con las tasas de arrepentimiento parental de acción/inacción — poblaciones diferentes, marcos de pregunta diferentes — pero proporcionan contexto relevante para entender quién carga la asimetría del arrepentimiento. Fuente: https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/47825-most-only-children-wish-they-had-at-least-one-sibling-us-poll
