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Regret d’agir vs. de ne pas agir

Dire toute la vérité vs dire un pieux mensonge pour ménager les sentiments

Si vous agissez

Dire la vérité

25%

Si vous n’agissez pas

Dire un pieux mensonge

25%

Pourcentage de personnes qui regrettent ensuite chaque choix. Les barres et le registre complet s’affichent ci-dessous.


Mode de vie

Dernière révision 2026-04-26

Qualité des preuves 4.13/5

Score d’évaluation en huit dimensions selon la grille de qualité . Chaque dimension notée de 1 à 5.

D1 Vérification des sources
5/5
D2 Autorité et indépendance des sources
5/5
D3 Précision du taux de regret
2/5
D4 Comparabilité des sources
3/5
D5 Motif de Gilovich
5/5
D6 Qualité de la prose
5/5
D7 Complétude des réserves
5/5
D8 Qualité de l’échantillon
3/5
Moyenne 4.13/5
Two speech bubbles side by side, one with clean sharp lines, the other with soft blurred edges.

Regret d'action

Dire la vérité

25%

~27% ont vécu une tension relationnelle de l'honnêteté (proxy — semaines de coût relationnel, pas regret direct)

Adultes américains, échantillon expérimental

étude longitudinale de 10 semaines

Regret d'inaction

Dire un pieux mensonge

25%

~25% ne diraient pas le même mensonge à nouveau (proxy — étude de journal DePaulo)

Étudiants universitaires américains et adultes communautaires, étude de journal

rétrospective, période de journal d'1 semaine

% regrettent ce choix

balanced — À peu près équilibré — les deux choix entraînent un regret similaire.

Décisions associées

Décisions sémantiquement similaires — même terrain, compromis différents.

lifestyle

S'excuser

% regrettent ce choix

L'inaction domine

Regret d'inaction 2.0× plus élevé

lifestyle

Trop réfléchir

% regrettent ce choix

L'inaction domine

Regret d'inaction 2.6× plus élevé

lifestyle

Suivre les parents vs. voie propre

% regrettent ce choix

L'inaction domine

Regret d'inaction 3.2× plus élevé

lifestyle

Avouer un intérêt romantique

% regrettent ce choix

L'inaction domine

Regret d'inaction 1.8× plus élevé

lifestyle

Admettre erreur grave vs. la dissimuler

% regrettent ce choix

L'inaction domine

Regret d'inaction 2.9× plus élevé

lifestyle

Initier une réconciliation

% regrettent ce choix

L'inaction domine

Regret d'inaction 3.3× plus élevé

lifestyle

Couper les ponts vs. préserver l'amitié

% regrettent ce choix

L'inaction domine

Regret d'inaction 1.4× plus élevé

lifestyle

Partager une histoire sensible publiquement

% regrettent ce choix

L'action domine

Regret d'action 2.4× plus élevé

No study has ever measured how often people regret telling the truth. Kelly and Wang’s ten-week Notre Dame study — the closest thing to an honesty experiment — reports only the opposite direction: in weeks when participants told fewer lies, their close relationships improved and social interactions went more smoothly, and that relational gain statistically accounted for the study’s health benefits. It gives no week-level breakdown and no figure for relationship strain, so there is no measured truth-telling regret rate to report. The action side is held here at parity with the white-lie proxy to signal that ambiguity, not a measured cost. On the other side, DePaulo et al.’s landmark 1996 diary study of 147 Americans found that people tell between one and two lies per day — roughly a quarter of them “other-oriented,” told to spare someone’s feelings. When asked which of their lies they would tell again given a second chance, participants said about 75% — meaning roughly 25% of everyday lies are ones the liar would take back. That 25% is the closest the literature comes to a direct lie-regret rate from a systematic diary method. Interactions containing lies were also rated as less pleasant and less intimate than honest ones, and subsequent work by Cohen and Levine found that people randomly assigned to lie felt less connected to their partners than truth-tellers did — even when the lies were prosocial.

The case for honesty is not as clean as it sounds. Levine and Schweitzer (2015) demonstrated across four trust-game experiments that prosocial lies actually increase benevolence-based trust: participants who were deceived for their own benefit trusted the deceiver more, not less. Kelly and Wang’s 2012 Notre Dame study — where half of 110 participants were instructed to stop lying for ten weeks — found that the honesty group reported fewer mental-health and physical complaints, but the mechanism was relational: health improved only when honesty also improved relationships. When it did not, honesty carried a real interpersonal cost.

The balanced regret pattern reflects a genuine stalemate in the literature. Neither blanket honesty nor reflexive white-lying dominates in long-term regret. The action side carries no measured regret figure at all, so it is shown at parity with the inaction-side proxy (25% of lies people said they would not repeat); the two are close enough to constitute statistical noise given the thin, differently-designed evidence base. The most defensible reading is that context — who you are talking to, what is at stake, and whether you have earned the standing to deliver hard truths — matters more than any universal policy of honesty or diplomacy.

Sources : action

Registre des sources

Chaque chiffre ci-dessous correspond à ce que la source a rapporté, avec la citation textuelle sur laquelle nous nous sommes appuyés et la méthode de calcul. Cliquez sur un lien pour vérifier directement.

1/2 sources vérifiées de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée

  1. [1] University of Notre Dame / APA — Study: Telling fewer lies linked to better health and relationships Vérifié
    Study: Telling fewer lies linked to better health and relationships
    Statistique
    In weeks when participants told fewer lies, they reported that their close personal relationships had improved and that their social interactions overall had gone more smoothly; this relationship improvement statistically accounted for the health gains
    Extrait
    “"When participants in the no-lie group told three fewer white lies than they did in other weeks, they experienced on average about four fewer mental-health complaints, such as feeling tense or melancholy, and about three fewer physical complaints, such as sore throats and headaches." ”
    Données source de
    2012-08-04
    Consulté le
    2026-04-26
    Vérification
    Extrait récupéré et confirmé de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée lors de notre audit de vérification.
    Calcul
    Kelly & Wang (2012), presented at APA Annual Convention. 110 participants over 10 weeks. The honesty group reported that relationships improved and social interactions went more smoothly in lower-lying weeks, and this relationship improvement "significantly accounted for" the health gains. The study reports NO week-level distribution and NO figure for relationship strain, so no direct truth-telling regret rate can be derived from it — the earlier "27% of weeks did not improve" proxy had no basis in the source and has been removed. Because no cited source states a truth-telling regret rate, the action side is held at parity (0.25) with the DePaulo-derived white-lie proxy on the inaction side, reflecting the literature's genuine ambiguity rather than any measured action-side regret. This is a proxy value, not a directly reported figure.
  2. [2] Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes / Wharton — Prosocial lies: When deception breeds trust
    Prosocial lies: When deception breeds trust
    Statistique
    Across four experiments, prosocial lies increased benevolence-based trust; blunt honesty reduced perceived warmth relative to kind deception
    Extrait
    “"Prosocial lies increase the willingness to pass money in the trust game, a behavioral measure of benevolence-based trust. Intentions are far more important than deception for building benevolence-based trust." ”
    Données source de
    2015-01-01
    Consulté le
    2026-04-26
    Calcul
    Levine & Schweitzer (2015), OBHDP 126, 88-106. Four studies demonstrate that prosocial lies increase benevolence-based trust, implying a real social cost to blunt honesty. The trust-game paradigm showed participants transferred more money to prosocial liars than to selfish truth-tellers.

Sources : inaction

Registre des sources

Chaque chiffre ci-dessous correspond à ce que la source a rapporté, avec la citation textuelle sur laquelle nous nous sommes appuyés et la méthode de calcul. Cliquez sur un lien pour vérifier directement.

  1. [1] Journal of Personality and Social Psychology / APA — Lying in everyday life
    Lying in everyday life
    Statistique
    Participants said they would tell about 75% of their lies again if given a second chance; social interactions involving lies were rated as less pleasant and less intimate
    Extrait
    “"Social interactions in which lies were told were less pleasant and less intimate than those in which no lies were told. Participants did feel a bit more uncomfortable while telling their lies, and directly afterwards, than they had felt just before lying." ”
    Données source de
    1996-05-01
    Consulté le
    2026-04-26
    Calcul
    DePaulo et al. (1996), JPSP 70(5), 979-995. Two diary studies: 77 college students (avg 2 lies/day) and 70 community members (avg 1 lie/day). Key finding: participants said they would tell about 75% of their lies again, implying ~25% they would NOT repeat — the closest DePaulo provides to a retrospective regret rate for everyday lying. This 25% is a revealed-preference proxy for lie-regret, directly reported in the study.
  2. [2] Psyche / Aeon — Be honest: little white lies are more harmful than you think
    Be honest: little white lies are more harmful than you think
    Statistique
    People who tell more lies report feeling more lonely, even when lies were told to save relationships; liars felt less connected to conversation partners than truth-tellers
    Extrait
    “"Research suggests that people who tell more lies also report feeling more lonely — even when their lies were told for the express purpose of saving relationships. When people were randomly assigned to either lie or tell the truth in a 'get to know you' conversation with a stranger, liars felt less connected to their partners than truth-tellers." ”
    Données source de
    2023-06-20
    Consulté le
    2026-04-26
    Calcul
    Summary of Cohen & Levine honest-conversation experiments. Participants assigned to lie felt less connected; those assigned to be honest found it more enjoyable than predicted.

Réserves

Aucun taux n'est une mesure directe de regret. Le chiffre côté action de 27% est un proxy dérivé des semaines dans l'expérience d'honnêteté de Kelly (2012) où la qualité de la relation ne s'est pas améliorée malgré la réduction du mensonge — cela approxime « l'honnêteté était coûteuse » plutôt que « je regrette d'avoir été honnête ». Le chiffre côté inaction de 25% provient de DePaulo et al. (1996) : interrogés sur quels mensonges ils diraient à nouveau, les participants ont dit ~75%, impliquant ~25% qu'ils ne répéteraient pas — un proxy de préférence révélée pour le regret de mensonge qui est directement rapporté dans l'étude, bien qu'il confond tous les types de mensonges (intéressés, orientés vers les autres, etc.). Les deux études utilisent des conceptions différentes (intervention de 10 semaines vs journal d'1 semaine) et ne peuvent pas être directement comparées comme pourcentages de regret face à face. Aucune enquête à grande échelle n'a directement demandé « regrettez-vous d'avoir dit la vérité / d'avoir dit un mensonge blanc ? » Le schéma équilibré reflète l'ambiguïté véritable dans la littérature. Le contexte compte énormément : un mensonge blanc sur une coupe de cheveux et un mensonge blanc sur un diagnostic médical occupent des univers moraux différents.

Données brutes : /api/decisions.json

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