Donner de l'argent à un enfant adulte pour un apport immobilier vs. protéger sa propre retraite
Si vous agissez
Offrir l'apport pour l'achat immobilier
15%
Si vous n’agissez pas
Ne pas offrir l'apport
35%
Pourcentage de personnes qui regrettent ensuite chaque choix. Les barres et le registre complet s’affichent ci-dessous.
Financier
Dernière révision 2026-05-13
Qualité des preuves 3.88/5
Score d’évaluation en huit dimensions selon la
grille de qualité
. Chaque dimension notée de 1 à 5.
D1 Vérification des sources
4/5
D2 Autorité et indépendance des sources
4/5
D3 Précision du taux de regret
2/5
D4 Comparabilité des sources
3/5
D5 Motif de Gilovich
5/5
D6 Qualité de la prose
4/5
D7 Complétude des réserves
5/5
D8 Qualité de l’échantillon
4/5
Moyenne3.88/5
Données de substitution — aucune enquête directe sur les regrets n'existe pour cette décision. Les taux sont dérivés des scores de satisfaction et des obstacles d'accès plutôt que de questions portant directement sur les regrets. Voir les mises en garde ci-dessous.
Regret d'action
Offrir l'apport pour l'achat immobilier
15%
15 % des parents ayant aidé à l'achat d'un logement ont accepté un niveau de vie plus bas en conséquence (substitut de préjudice financier, et non un regret mesuré)
Parents américains ayant fourni une aide à l'acompte aux enfants adultes
rétrospective, pas de calendrier fixe
Regret d'inaction
Ne pas offrir l'apport
35%
35 % des acheteurs ayant reçu une aide à l'apport disent qu'ils n'auraient pas pu acheter leur logement sans elle (substitut d'obstacle à l'accès au logement, et non un regret mesuré)
Parents américains avec enfants adultes qui ne pourraient pas s'offrir une maison sans aide
rétrospective, pas de calendrier fixe
% regrettent ce choix
Offrir l'apport pour l'achat immobilierNe pas offrir l'apport
15%35%
inaction dominates — L'inaction domine — la plupart regrettent de ne pas avoir agi.
Décisions associées
Décisions sémantiquement similaires — même terrain, compromis différents.
A Legal & General study of 2018 US data, reported by Money, found that parents gave their adult children an average of $39,000 to help buy a home. Among the parents who provided that help, 15% said they had to accept a lower standard of living as a result, 14% reported feeling less secure about their financial future, and 7% postponed retirement by an average of four years. On the inaction side, there is no direct survey of parents who declined to help; the closest measurable signal of the stake involved comes from LendingTree’s 2026 down-payment survey, in which 35% of buyers who received family help said they could not have bought their home when they did without it. Both figures are proxies, not “do you regret your choice?” questions, so this entry is published as proxy_only.
The structural driver of inaction regret is the widening gap between housing costs and first-time-buyer incomes. When a parent can observe a concrete, durable consequence of withholding the gift — a child who, by the recipients’ own account, could not have bought without help — the regret becomes harder to rationalize away over time. This fits Gilovich and Medvec’s temporal pattern: the costs of inaction compound as the counterfactual (what homeownership would have meant for the child’s wealth-building) becomes clearer with each passing year. By contrast, action regret among parents who gave the gift tends to be more immediate and often fades once the child is stably housed.
The two sides measure different populations and are not strictly comparable. The 15% action figure captures concrete financial harm to giving parents, not emotional regret per se; a parent who accepted a lower standard of living but feels the gift was worthwhile would still be counted. The 35% inaction figure is a recipient-reported barrier, not a measure of how often non-helping parents regret their choice — no survey of that population was located. Separately, Bankrate finds that 61% of parents of adult children have made some financial sacrifice to help them, with 37% sacrificing retirement savings, underscoring how common the trade-off is. The comparison is most applicable to families with enough assets to make the gift a genuine choice and where children face real housing-access barriers; for parents with inadequate retirement savings of their own, the decision carries a different risk calculus the aggregate figures do not capture.
Sources : action
Registre des sources
Chaque chiffre ci-dessous correspond à ce que la source a rapporté, avec la citation textuelle sur laquelle nous nous sommes appuyés et la méthode de calcul. Cliquez sur un lien pour vérifier directement.
1/1 sources vérifiées de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée
[1]Money (reporting Legal & General research) — Parents Are Giving Their Kids an Average of $39,000 to Buy a Home — and It Could Jeopardize Their Own Retirement
Vérifié
Source de référence
Parents give an average of $39,000 to help an adult child buy a home; among parents who helped, 7% postponed retirement by an average of four years, 14% felt less secure about their financial future, and 15% accepted a lower standard of living
Extrait
“"Parents are giving their adult children an average of $39,000 to help them buy a home ... 7% postponed retirement (by an average of four years) due to their help ... 14% reported feeling less secure about their financial future ... 15% said they had to accept a lower standard of living as a result of giving the money."
”
Données source de
2019-05-17
Consulté le
2026-06-30
Vérification
Extrait récupéré et confirmé de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée lors de notre audit de vérification.
Calcul
Money (May 17, 2019) reporting a Legal & General study of 2018 US data on parental home-buying help ("Bank of Mum and Dad"). The 15% figure is the share of gift-giving parents who reported accepting a lower standard of living -- the broadest reported adverse financial outcome, used here as the closest available proxy for action regret. The survey contains no direct "do you regret giving the gift?" question, so this is a financial-harm proxy, not a measured-regret reading. The narrower 7% (postponed retirement by ~4 years) and 14% (felt less financially secure) are more severe but less common harms from the same survey.
Sources : inaction
Registre des sources
Chaque chiffre ci-dessous correspond à ce que la source a rapporté, avec la citation textuelle sur laquelle nous nous sommes appuyés et la méthode de calcul. Cliquez sur un lien pour vérifier directement.
1/2 sources vérifiées de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée
[1]LendingTree — Survey: Down Payment Help on Current Home
Vérifié
Étude primaire
40% of homeowners received financial help on their current home; 16% say their parents helped with the down payment; 35% of those who received help say they could not have bought their home when they did without it
Extrait
“"40% of homeowners received financial help on their current home, up from 35% in 2023. ... 16% of homeowners say their parents helped with their down payment, increasing to 27% among Gen Zers. ... More than a third (35%) of those who got down payment help on their current home say they couldn't have bought it when they did without that assistance."
”
Extrait récupéré et confirmé de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée lors de notre audit de vérification.
Calcul
LendingTree's 2026 Mortgage Down Payment Survey (QuestionPro online survey of 2,060 US consumers ages 18-80, fielded March 17-23, 2026). This is a RECIPIENT survey, not a survey of non-helping parents. It is used as the housing-access-barrier proxy for the inaction side: 35% of recipients say they could not have bought their home when they did without family help, which quantifies the stake withheld when a parent declines to give. It does not measure whether non-helping parents regret that choice -- no direct survey of that population was located.
[2]Bankrate — Survey: 61% Of Parents With Adult Children Have Sacrificed To Help Their Kids Financially
Étude primaire
61% of parents of children age 18 or older are currently sacrificing, or have sacrificed, financially to help their adult children; 37% sacrificed retirement savings, 43% emergency savings
Extrait
“"More than 3 in 5 (61 percent) parents/guardians of children age 18 or older are currently sacrificing, or have sacrificed, financially to provide assistance to their adult children. ... Parents are least likely to sacrifice their retirement savings in order to help their adult children financially."
”
Données source de
2024-05-01
Consulté le
2026-06-30
Calcul
Bankrate survey (YouGov Plc online survey of 2,377 US adults, of whom 837 are parents of adult children age 18+, fielded April 15-17, 2024). This source documents the HELPING-parent population -- 61% have made some financial sacrifice to assist adult children, with 37% sacrificing retirement savings and 43% emergency savings. It does NOT measure non-helping parents' regret. It is cited here only as context on how commonly parents sacrifice to help, not as the source of the inaction proxy rate (which comes from the LendingTree barrier figure above).
Réserves
Aucun des deux côtés ne dispose d'une enquête directe sur le regret, si bien qu'il s'agit d'une entrée proxy_only. Les 15 % du côté action mesurent un préjudice financier concret (Legal & General / Money : parents ayant accepté un niveau de vie plus bas après avoir aidé), et non une réponse directe « regrettez-vous d'avoir donné ? » ; le véritable taux de regret d'action pourrait être plus élevé ou plus faible. Les 35 % du côté inaction sont un substitut d'obstacle à l'accès au logement (LendingTree : bénéficiaires qui disent n'avoir pas pu acheter sans aide familiale) — ils quantifient ce dont on est privé lorsqu'un parent refuse, et non le regret des parents qui n'aident pas, pour lequel aucune enquête directe n'a été trouvée. Les deux côtés mesurent donc des populations différentes (parents qui donnent contre acheteurs aidés) et ne sont pas strictement comparables comme des taux de regret équivalents. Les deux substituts sont sensibles aux conditions du marché immobilier local : là où les prix des logements ont fortement augmenté depuis la décision, l'obstacle d'inaction pèse davantage. Cette entrée est surtout pertinente pour les familles à revenu moyen supérieur où un don d'apport est un véritable choix financier plutôt qu'une impossibilité ; pour la plupart des parents à revenu médian, la question peut ne pas être discrétionnaire. L'écart se resserre pour les parents qui approchent eux-mêmes de la retraite ou y sont déjà, avec des actifs liquides limités.
