The Institute for Family Studies surveyed 1,518 US adults in 2021 and
found a clear asymmetry in fertility regret. 37% of all US adults
wish they had more children than they currently have, including both
parents who want additional children (24%) and childless adults who
want to start (13%). On the other side, only 14% of parents wish
they had fewer children. The desire for more consistently outweighs
the desire for fewer, roughly two-to-one.
This asymmetry aligns with Gilovich and Medvec’s prediction that
inaction regrets dominate over time. The gap between desired and actual
fertility has been a persistent structural feature of US demography for
decades, and IFS trend data shows it is widening: the share of Americans
who say the ideal family size is three or more children recently hit a
50-year high. People are not adjusting their preferences downward to
match their behavior — they continue to wish for more even as birth
rates fall.
The comparison is imperfect in several ways. “Wishing for more” is not
the same as regretting a specific past decision — it may reflect
wistfulness about circumstances (finances, partner, timing) rather than
decisional regret. The populations are also not cleanly symmetric: the
14% is measured among parents, while the 37% includes childless adults.
And the largest confound is involuntariness: many people who want more
children face fertility limitations, financial barriers, or partner
disagreement, making the “inaction” label somewhat misleading. They did
not choose fewer children — they ended up with fewer.
A complementary signal from the children themselves: a YouGov poll of
2,000 US adults (October 2023) found that 66% of adults who grew up
as only children wish they had had at least one sibling, against 34%
who were satisfied with the arrangement. The child’s sibling-wish rate
(66%) runs nearly double the parent’s wish-for-more rate (37%), a gap
that hints at a systematic blind spot: parents may underestimate how
much their child will want a sibling, while the child feels the absence
as an adult. These are different populations answering different
questions, not directly comparable rates, but the directional divergence
is worth registering.
Bronnen: handelen
Bronnenverantwoording
Elk getal hieronder is wat elke bron rapporteerde, met het letterlijke citaat waarop we ons baseerden en hoe we tot ons cijfer kwamen. Klik op een link om rechtstreeks te verifiëren.
1/2 bronnen onafhankelijk woordelijk geverifieerd tegenover de geciteerde bron
[1]Institute for Family Studies / Stone — To Have Kids or Not: Which Decision Do Americans Regret More?↗ 1 other entry
Gerenommeerde referentie
14% of people with children agreed 'I wish I had had fewer children' (10% of all US adults)
Fragment
“"Just 14% of people with children agreed with the statement 'I wish I had had fewer children' (which equals 10% of all adults). The vast majority of people want to have children and more than a third wish they had more."
”
Brongegevens van
2021-12-08
Geraadpleegd
2026-04-25
Berekening
Data from the second wave of the US Adult Sexual Behaviors and Attitudes Study, fielded March 2021 (n=1,518). The 14% is among parents specifically. We use 0.14 as the regret_rate for the action side (having had too many).
[2]Pew Research Center — The Experiences of U.S. Adults Who Don't Have Children
Geverifieerd
↗ 2 other entries
Gerenommeerde referentie
Among adults 50+ without children, 38% say there was a time they wanted children; broader context for fertility preference gaps
Fragment
“"Among adults ages 50 and older who don't have children, 38% say there was a time when they wanted to have children. About three-in-ten (32%) say they never wanted children."
”
Brongegevens van
2024-07-25
Geraadpleegd
2026-04-25
Verificatie
Fragment onafhankelijk opnieuw opgehaald en woord voor woord bevestigd tegenover de geciteerde bron tijdens onze onderbouwingsaudit.
Berekening
Pew data provides cross-validation for the IFS survey. The 38% who once wanted children among the childless represents a ceiling for wish-for-more regret. Used as contextual support, not as the primary figure.
Bronnen: niet handelen
Bronnenverantwoording
Elk getal hieronder is wat elke bron rapporteerde, met het letterlijke citaat waarop we ons baseerden en hoe we tot ons cijfer kwamen. Klik op een link om rechtstreeks te verifiëren.
1/2 bronnen onafhankelijk woordelijk geverifieerd tegenover de geciteerde bron
[1]Institute for Family Studies / Stone — To Have Kids or Not: Which Decision Do Americans Regret More?
Geverifieerd
↗ 1 other entry
Gerenommeerde referentie
37% of US adults wish they had more children than they currently have (including 24% who are parents and want more, plus 13% who are childless and want children)
Fragment
“"34% have children and are happy with the number they have ... Another third—the largest group—wish they had more (37%), whether currently parents or not."
”
Brongegevens van
2021-12-08
Geraadpleegd
2026-04-25
Verificatie
Fragment onafhankelijk opnieuw opgehaald en woord voor woord bevestigd tegenover de geciteerde bron tijdens onze onderbouwingsaudit.
Berekening
The IFS source reports a single wish-for-more figure of 37%, combining parents who want more (24%) and childless adults who want children (13%, inferred as 37 minus 24). It is the largest fertility-preference group. We use 0.37 as the regret_rate for the inaction side.
[2]Institute for Family Studies — Americans' Desire for Large Families Hits 50-Year High↗ 1 other entry
Gerenommeerde referentie
The share of Americans who say the ideal family size is 3+ children rose to the highest level in 50 years, indicating a persistent gap between desired and actual fertility
Fragment
“"The share of Americans who say the ideal family size is three or more children has risen to the highest level in 50 years, widening the gap between desired and actual fertility."
”
Brongegevens van
2023-06-28
Geraadpleegd
2026-04-25
Berekening
Trend data showing that the desire-for-more gap is widening over time. Supports the 37% wish-for-more figure as durable rather than transient. The gap between desired and actual fertility is a structural feature of modern US demography.
Kanttekeningen
De populaties "wens voor minder" en "wens voor meer" overlappen onvolmaakt: de 14% is onder huidige ouders, terwijl de 37% zowel ouders die meer willen als kinderloze volwassenen die kinderen willen omvat. Het vergelijken van een ouder-alleen subset met een alle-volwassenen cijfer blaast de schijnbare asymmetrie op. De IFS-enquête gebruikte enkel-item akkoordschalen, geen gevalideerd spijtinstrument. "Wensen dat je meer had" is niet hetzelfde als spijt hebben van een specifieke beslissing — het kan weemoed weerspiegelen in plaats van besluitspijt. Financiële beperkingen, vruchtbaarheidsbeperkingen en partnermeningsverschillen betekenen dat het niet hebben van meer kinderen vaak onvrijwillig is, wat de actie/inactie framing compliceert. Een complementair hoek vanuit het kindperspectief: YouGov (oktober 2023, n=2.000 Amerikaanse volwassenen, sample-gematcht uit 2019 ACS) vond dat 66% van volwassenen die opgroeiden als enig kind wensten dat ze ten minste één broer of zus hadden gehad; slechts 34% was tevreden enig kind te zijn. Ongeveer 12% van Amerikaanse volwassenen groeide op als enig kind. Het kind-perspectief broer-of-zus-wens percentage (66%) loopt substantieel hoger dan het ouder-perspectief wens-voor-meer percentage (37%), suggererend dat de kosten van stoppen bij één kind acuter worden gevoeld door het kind dan voorzien door de ouder die de beslissing maakt. Deze kind-perspectief data kan niet direct vergeleken worden met de actie/inactie ouderlijke spijtpercentages — verschillende populaties, verschillende vraagframes — maar het biedt relevante context voor het begrijpen wie de spijtasymmetrie draagt. Bron: https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/47825-most-only-children-wish-they-had-at-least-one-sibling-us-poll
