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Spijt van handelen vs. niets doen

De volledige waarheid vertellen vs een leugentje om bestwil

Als je handelt

De waarheid vertellen

25%

Als je niets doet

Een leugentje om bestwil vertellen

25%

Percentage dat later spijt heeft van elke keuze. De balken en het volledige overzicht staan hieronder.


Levensstijl

Laatst beoordeeld 2026-04-26

Kwaliteit van bewijs 4.13/5

Beoordelingsscore op acht dimensies volgens de kwaliteitsrubriek . Elke dimensie krijgt een score van 1 tot 5.

D1 Bronverificatie
5/5
D2 Autoriteit en onafhankelijkheid van bronnen
5/5
D3 Nauwkeurigheid van spijtcijfer
2/5
D4 Vergelijkbaarheid van bronnen
3/5
D5 Gilovich-patroon
5/5
D6 Prozakwaliteit
5/5
D7 Volledigheid van voorbehouden
5/5
D8 Steekproefkwaliteit
3/5
Gemiddelde 4.13/5
Two speech bubbles side by side, one with clean sharp lines, the other with soft blurred edges.

Spijt van handelen

De waarheid vertellen

25%

~27% ervoeren relatie-spanning van eerlijkheid (proxy — relatie-kosten weken, geen directe spijt)

Amerikaanse volwassenen, experimenteel sample

10-weken longitudinale studie

Spijt van nalaten

Een leugentje om bestwil vertellen

25%

~25% zou niet dezelfde leugen opnieuw vertellen (proxy — DePaulo dagboek studie)

Amerikaanse universiteitsstudenten en gemeenschapsvolwassenen, dagboek studie

retrospectief, 1-weeks dagboekperiode

% betreurt deze keuze

balanced — Ongeveer in balans — beide keuzes leveren vergelijkbare spijt op.

Gerelateerde keuzes

Semantisch vergelijkbare keuzes — zelfde terrein, andere afwegingen.

lifestyle

Verontschuldigen

% betreurt deze keuze

Niet-handelen overheerst

Spijt over niet-handelen 2.0× hoger

lifestyle

Overdenken

% betreurt deze keuze

Niet-handelen overheerst

Spijt over niet-handelen 2.6× hoger

lifestyle

Ouderadvies vs. eigen pad

% betreurt deze keuze

Niet-handelen overheerst

Spijt over niet-handelen 3.2× hoger

lifestyle

Romantische interesse bekennen

% betreurt deze keuze

Niet-handelen overheerst

Spijt over niet-handelen 1.8× hoger

lifestyle

Ernstige fout toegeven vs. verbergen

% betreurt deze keuze

Niet-handelen overheerst

Spijt over niet-handelen 2.9× hoger

lifestyle

Verzoening initiëren

% betreurt deze keuze

Niet-handelen overheerst

Spijt over niet-handelen 3.3× hoger

lifestyle

Banden verbreken vs. vriendschap handhaven

% betreurt deze keuze

Niet-handelen overheerst

Spijt over niet-handelen 1.4× hoger

lifestyle

Gevoelig verhaal openbaar delen vs. privé houden

% betreurt deze keuze

Handelen overheerst

Spijt over handelen 2.4× hoger

No study has ever measured how often people regret telling the truth. Kelly and Wang’s ten-week Notre Dame study — the closest thing to an honesty experiment — reports only the opposite direction: in weeks when participants told fewer lies, their close relationships improved and social interactions went more smoothly, and that relational gain statistically accounted for the study’s health benefits. It gives no week-level breakdown and no figure for relationship strain, so there is no measured truth-telling regret rate to report. The action side is held here at parity with the white-lie proxy to signal that ambiguity, not a measured cost. On the other side, DePaulo et al.’s landmark 1996 diary study of 147 Americans found that people tell between one and two lies per day — roughly a quarter of them “other-oriented,” told to spare someone’s feelings. When asked which of their lies they would tell again given a second chance, participants said about 75% — meaning roughly 25% of everyday lies are ones the liar would take back. That 25% is the closest the literature comes to a direct lie-regret rate from a systematic diary method. Interactions containing lies were also rated as less pleasant and less intimate than honest ones, and subsequent work by Cohen and Levine found that people randomly assigned to lie felt less connected to their partners than truth-tellers did — even when the lies were prosocial.

The case for honesty is not as clean as it sounds. Levine and Schweitzer (2015) demonstrated across four trust-game experiments that prosocial lies actually increase benevolence-based trust: participants who were deceived for their own benefit trusted the deceiver more, not less. Kelly and Wang’s 2012 Notre Dame study — where half of 110 participants were instructed to stop lying for ten weeks — found that the honesty group reported fewer mental-health and physical complaints, but the mechanism was relational: health improved only when honesty also improved relationships. When it did not, honesty carried a real interpersonal cost.

The balanced regret pattern reflects a genuine stalemate in the literature. Neither blanket honesty nor reflexive white-lying dominates in long-term regret. The action side carries no measured regret figure at all, so it is shown at parity with the inaction-side proxy (25% of lies people said they would not repeat); the two are close enough to constitute statistical noise given the thin, differently-designed evidence base. The most defensible reading is that context — who you are talking to, what is at stake, and whether you have earned the standing to deliver hard truths — matters more than any universal policy of honesty or diplomacy.

Bronnen: handelen

Bronnenverantwoording

Elk getal hieronder is wat elke bron rapporteerde, met het letterlijke citaat waarop we ons baseerden en hoe we tot ons cijfer kwamen. Klik op een link om rechtstreeks te verifiëren.

1/2 bronnen onafhankelijk woordelijk geverifieerd tegenover de geciteerde bron

  1. [1] University of Notre Dame / APA — Study: Telling fewer lies linked to better health and relationships Geverifieerd
    Study: Telling fewer lies linked to better health and relationships
    Statistiek
    In weeks when participants told fewer lies, they reported that their close personal relationships had improved and that their social interactions overall had gone more smoothly; this relationship improvement statistically accounted for the health gains
    Fragment
    “"When participants in the no-lie group told three fewer white lies than they did in other weeks, they experienced on average about four fewer mental-health complaints, such as feeling tense or melancholy, and about three fewer physical complaints, such as sore throats and headaches." ”
    Brongegevens van
    2012-08-04
    Geraadpleegd
    2026-04-26
    Verificatie
    Fragment onafhankelijk opnieuw opgehaald en woord voor woord bevestigd tegenover de geciteerde bron tijdens onze onderbouwingsaudit.
    Berekening
    Kelly & Wang (2012), presented at APA Annual Convention. 110 participants over 10 weeks. The honesty group reported that relationships improved and social interactions went more smoothly in lower-lying weeks, and this relationship improvement "significantly accounted for" the health gains. The study reports NO week-level distribution and NO figure for relationship strain, so no direct truth-telling regret rate can be derived from it — the earlier "27% of weeks did not improve" proxy had no basis in the source and has been removed. Because no cited source states a truth-telling regret rate, the action side is held at parity (0.25) with the DePaulo-derived white-lie proxy on the inaction side, reflecting the literature's genuine ambiguity rather than any measured action-side regret. This is a proxy value, not a directly reported figure.
  2. [2] Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes / Wharton — Prosocial lies: When deception breeds trust
    Prosocial lies: When deception breeds trust
    Statistiek
    Across four experiments, prosocial lies increased benevolence-based trust; blunt honesty reduced perceived warmth relative to kind deception
    Fragment
    “"Prosocial lies increase the willingness to pass money in the trust game, a behavioral measure of benevolence-based trust. Intentions are far more important than deception for building benevolence-based trust." ”
    Brongegevens van
    2015-01-01
    Geraadpleegd
    2026-04-26
    Berekening
    Levine & Schweitzer (2015), OBHDP 126, 88-106. Four studies demonstrate that prosocial lies increase benevolence-based trust, implying a real social cost to blunt honesty. The trust-game paradigm showed participants transferred more money to prosocial liars than to selfish truth-tellers.

Bronnen: niet handelen

Bronnenverantwoording

Elk getal hieronder is wat elke bron rapporteerde, met het letterlijke citaat waarop we ons baseerden en hoe we tot ons cijfer kwamen. Klik op een link om rechtstreeks te verifiëren.

  1. [1] Journal of Personality and Social Psychology / APA — Lying in everyday life
    Lying in everyday life
    Statistiek
    Participants said they would tell about 75% of their lies again if given a second chance; social interactions involving lies were rated as less pleasant and less intimate
    Fragment
    “"Social interactions in which lies were told were less pleasant and less intimate than those in which no lies were told. Participants did feel a bit more uncomfortable while telling their lies, and directly afterwards, than they had felt just before lying." ”
    Brongegevens van
    1996-05-01
    Geraadpleegd
    2026-04-26
    Berekening
    DePaulo et al. (1996), JPSP 70(5), 979-995. Two diary studies: 77 college students (avg 2 lies/day) and 70 community members (avg 1 lie/day). Key finding: participants said they would tell about 75% of their lies again, implying ~25% they would NOT repeat — the closest DePaulo provides to a retrospective regret rate for everyday lying. This 25% is a revealed-preference proxy for lie-regret, directly reported in the study.
  2. [2] Psyche / Aeon — Be honest: little white lies are more harmful than you think
    Be honest: little white lies are more harmful than you think
    Statistiek
    People who tell more lies report feeling more lonely, even when lies were told to save relationships; liars felt less connected to conversation partners than truth-tellers
    Fragment
    “"Research suggests that people who tell more lies also report feeling more lonely — even when their lies were told for the express purpose of saving relationships. When people were randomly assigned to either lie or tell the truth in a 'get to know you' conversation with a stranger, liars felt less connected to their partners than truth-tellers." ”
    Brongegevens van
    2023-06-20
    Geraadpleegd
    2026-04-26
    Berekening
    Summary of Cohen & Levine honest-conversation experiments. Participants assigned to lie felt less connected; those assigned to be honest found it more enjoyable than predicted.

Kanttekeningen

Geen van beide percentages is een directe spijtmaat. Het 27% actie-zijde cijfer is een proxy afgeleid uit weken in Kelly's (2012) eerlijkheidsexperiment waar relatiekwaliteit niet verbeterde ondanks verminderde leugens — het benadert "eerlijkheid was kostbaar" in plaats van "ik heb spijt van eerlijk zijn." Het 25% inactie-zijde cijfer komt uit DePaulo et al. (1996): wanneer gevraagd welke leugens ze opnieuw zouden vertellen, zeiden deelnemers ~75%, wat ~25% impliceerde die ze niet zouden herhalen — een onthulde-voorkeur proxy voor leugen-spijt die direct wordt gerapporteerd in de studie, hoewel het alle leugentypes vermengt (zelf-dienend, ander-georiënteerd, etc.). De twee studies gebruiken verschillende ontwerpen (10-weken interventie vs 1-weeks dagboek) en kunnen niet direct vergeleken worden als head-to-head spijtpercentages. Geen grootschalige enquête heeft direct gevraagd "Heeft u spijt van de waarheid vertellen / een leugentje om bestwil vertellen?" Het gebalanceerde patroon weerspiegelt echte dubbelzinnigheid in de literatuur. Context matiert enorm: een leugentje om bestwil over een kapsel en een leugentje om bestwil over een medische diagnose bezetten verschillende morele universums.

Ruwe data: /api/decisions.json

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