The Trevor Project’s 2022 national survey of approximately 34,000 LGBTQ young
people found that those who delayed coming out by two or more years after first
recognizing their identity reported a past-year suicide attempt rate of 16%,
compared with 12% among those who came out within one year — the dominant
inaction-side signal in this entry. A 2021 meta-analysis across 193 studies
(n = 92,236) confirmed a small but consistent link between sexual orientation
concealment and internalizing mental health problems (effect size r = 0.126).
On the action side, Pew Research Center’s 2013 survey of 1,197 self-identified
LGBT adults found that 7% said their sexual orientation or gender identity
was “mainly something negative” in their life. Since 86% of this sample had
disclosed to at least one close friend and 54% said all or most important people
in their life knew, the 7% figure approximates dissatisfaction among a
predominantly out population. On outcomes: among those who told their mother,
14% reported the relationship grew weaker, 46% said it stayed the same, and
39% said it grew stronger.
The broad pattern aligns with Gilovich and Medvec’s prediction that inaction
regret tends to dominate over time. For those who came out, only 7% view their
orientation as a net negative, and 14% of disclosures to a mother produced
relational damage. Staying closeted, by
contrast, imposes a measurable psychological tax: the Pachankis and Bränström
meta-analysis documents elevated depression and anxiety tied to concealment
across decades of research, and the Trevor Project data show a 4-percentage-
point gap in past-year suicide attempts between delayed and early disclosers.
By 2024, Gallup found that 82% of LGBTQ adults had come out to at least one
person, and the median coming-out age has been falling across generations (17
for those under 30 vs. 26 for those over 65), consistent with a population
that increasingly treats disclosure as the preferred path.
Neither number is a true regret rate. The 7% captures those who view their
openly lived orientation as net negative, not a direct question about whether
coming out was a mistake. The 16% is a suicide attempt prevalence among youth
who delayed disclosure — a severe mental health outcome, not a measure of
whether closeted individuals wish they had come out. The two figures are drawn
from different populations (US adults in an online panel; help-seeking youth
ages 13-24 recruited via social media) and measure different constructs (life
satisfaction vs. mental health crisis), so the delta is directional rather than
precise. Survivorship bias is significant on the action side: people whose
outcomes were so negative they declined to participate in an LGBT survey are
missing from the Pew data. Cultural context varies enormously, and the cost-
benefit calculus of disclosure shifts with geography, family religiosity, and
the decade in question.
Sources : action
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[1]Pew Research Center — A Survey of LGBT Americans
Vérifié
Étude primaire
7% of LGBT adults say their sexual orientation or gender identity is mainly something negative in their life
Extrait
“"About six-in-ten LGBT respondents (58%) say their sexual orientation or gender identity doesn't make much difference either way, while 34% say it is mainly something positive and just 7% say it is mainly something negative."
”
Données source de
2013-06-13
Consulté le
2026-04-27
Vérification
Extrait récupéré et confirmé de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée lors de notre audit de vérification.
Calcul
Pew Research Center survey of 1,197 self-identified LGBT adults conducted April 11–29, 2013 (online). Since 86% of respondents had told at least one close friend and 54% said all or most important people in their life knew, this sample is predominantly out. The 7% who view their orientation as "mainly something negative" is the closest available proxy for action regret: it captures those whose lived experience of being openly LGBT is net negative. The remaining 93% see it as positive (34%) or neutral (58%).
[2]Pew Research Center — Chapter 3: The Coming Out Experience
Vérifié
Étude primaire
14% of LGBT adults who told their mother about their sexual orientation say the relationship grew weaker
Extrait
“"39% of LGBT adults who told their mother say their relationship has grown stronger, 46% say their relationship has not changed, and 14% say their relationship has grown weaker."
”
Données source de
2013-06-13
Consulté le
2026-04-27
Vérification
Extrait récupéré et confirmé de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée lors de notre audit de vérification.
Calcul
Same Pew 2013 survey. Among those who disclosed to their mother, 14% reported the relationship grew weaker. This is a secondary action-side metric — relationship damage is the most commonly cited fear deterring disclosure — but it measures a specific outcome, not overall regret. The remaining 86% reported neutral (46%) or positive (39%) outcomes with their mother.
[3]Gallup — LGBTQ+ Adults Are Coming Out at Younger Ages Than in the Past
Vérifié
Étude primaire
82% of LGBTQ+ adults have come out to at least one person (18% have never come out to anyone); median coming-out age is 17 for adults aged 18-29 vs. 26 for adults aged 65 and older
Extrait
“"Eighteen percent of LGBTQ+ respondents say they have never come out to anyone. ... The youngest LGBTQ+ adults, those aged 18 to 29, came out at a median age of 17, while those aged 30 to 49 and 50 to 64 came out in their early 20s. The median age adults aged 65 and older came out is 26."
”
Données source de
2024-07-26
Consulté le
2026-07-03
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Calcul
Gallup Panel web survey of 46,933 US adults aged 18+, conducted May 1–15, 2024. The 82% figure is the complement of the reported "18% have never come out to anyone" (100 - 18 = 82). Used as contextual evidence that disclosure has become both more common and happens earlier across generations -- this is not a regret measure, and is not the entry's action-side regret_rate (which remains the Pew 7% "mainly something negative" figure above). Added to ground the body text's "82%... 17 for those under 30 vs. 26 for those over 65" claim, previously attributed to Gallup without a corresponding source in this entry.
Sources : inaction
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2/2 sources vérifiées de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée
[1]The Trevor Project — Age of Sexual Orientation Outness & Suicide Risk
Vérifié
Étude primaire
16% past-year suicide attempt rate among LGBTQ youth who came out 2+ years after first thinking they might be LGBTQ, vs 12% among those who came out within one year
Extrait
“"LGBTQ youth who came out within a year of realizing they may be LGBTQ reported lower rates of attempting suicide in the past year (12%), compared to LGBTQ youth who came out two or more years after realizing they might be LGBTQ (16%)."
”
Données source de
2022-10-01
Consulté le
2026-04-27
Vérification
Extrait récupéré et confirmé de manière indépendante, mot pour mot, par rapport à la source citée lors de notre audit de vérification.
Calcul
The Trevor Project research brief, based on their 2022 National Survey of approximately 34,000 LGBTQ young people ages 13–24. The 16% is the actual prevalence of past-year suicide attempts among youth who delayed disclosure by two or more years, compared with 12% among those who came out within one year. The previously cited 56% figure was an adjusted odds ratio (aOR 1.56), which cannot be used as a prevalence rate. We use the 16% prevalence as a proxy for inaction cost — prolonged concealment is associated with worse mental health outcomes, though suicide attempts are a more extreme outcome than regret per se.
[2]Psychological Bulletin (APA) — Sexual Orientation Concealment and Mental Health: A Conceptual and Meta-Analytic Review
Vérifié
Revue par les pairs
Across 193 studies (n = 92,236), concealment showed a small positive association with internalizing mental health problems (ESr = 0.126)
Extrait
“"Across 193 studies (n = 92,236), the meta-analysis finds a small positive association between sexual orientation concealment and internalizing mental health problems (i.e., depression, anxiety, distress, problematic eating; ESr = 0.126; 95% CI [0.102, 0.151]) and a small negative association between concealment and substance use problems (ESr = −0.061; 95% CI [−0.096, −0.026])."
”
Données source de
2021-04-01
Consulté le
2026-04-27
Vérification
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Calcul
Pachankis & Bränström meta-analysis published in Psychological Bulletin. The effect size (r = 0.126) is small but robust across 92,236 participants. This supports the inaction-side framing: concealment carries a measurable mental health cost, though the relationship is complex — concealment can also protect against discrimination in hostile environments. The meta-analysis does not directly measure regret, but documents the psychological burden that accumulates with sustained concealment.
Réserves
Aucun côté n'a d'enquête de regret direct. Le 7% du côté action est la part des adultes LGBT dans l'enquête Pew 2013 qui disent que leur orientation est « principalement quelque chose de négatif » dans leur vie — un proxy lâche pour le regret parmi une population majoritairement assumée, et non une question directe sur le fait que le coming out était une erreur. Le 16% du côté inaction est la prévalence des tentatives de suicide au cours de l'année écoulée parmi les jeunes LGBTQ qui ont retardé leur divulgation de deux ans ou plus (contre 12% chez ceux qui ont divulgué tôt) — une mesure de résultat grave, pas une prévalence de regret. Les deux taux mesurent des constructions différentes (satisfaction de vie vs crise de santé mentale) dans des populations différentes (adultes américains dans un panel en ligne vs jeunes en demande d'aide recrutés via les réseaux sociaux), donc l'écart est directionnel au mieux. Le biais de survie affecte le côté action : les personnes qui ont fait leur coming out et se sont retirées de l'identification LGBT, ou dont les résultats ont été si négatifs qu'elles ont refusé une enquête LGBT, sont absentes des données Pew. L'échantillon du Trevor Project surreprésente les jeunes en demande d'aide et peut surestimer la détresse. Le contexte culturel et géographique compte énormément : faire son coming out à San Francisco en 2024 comporte des risques différents de le faire dans le Mississippi rural ou dans un pays où l'homosexualité est criminalisée. L'acceptation sociale a évolué rapidement — Pew a constaté que 92% des adultes LGBT en 2013 voyaient la société comme plus acceptante qu'une décennie auparavant, et en 2025, 96% rapportaient être out auprès d'au moins une personne — donc le coût du côté action diminue probablement avec le temps.
